I consider this a momentous occasion

I have been employed by 5 Buck pizza for two and a half years, almost exactly.
(Before any of you start thinking this.. no.. sadly, I did not quit or anything epic like that.)
But only slightly less interesting than a dramatic fight with my boss in which I toss my shirt on the ground and walk through the doors into a blazing sunset shining of freedom...
Is the fact that I took my first delivery today :)
It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be, and the lady handed me exact change and a four dollar tip.
Yes, I really am blogging about a pizza delivery, okay? I'm proud of myself.
But the address was wrong so the house I stopped at, the lady who lived there goes to give me directions and pulls out the most hardcore ward map I've ever seen in my life! Sheesh, who needs street view on Google Maps when you've got something that detailed..
So she sent me on my way to a rest home down the street, and life was peachy.

Aside from the pointlessness above, I do believe I haven't anything more to add to the benefit of society.
Have a lovely day, a wonderful evening, a fantabulous night, and sweet dreams when they come to you!
-Nessa-

I like Cameron's idea

We should all buy webcams and make movies of ourselves every once and a while. I mean, you read everyone's blogs, and that's all fine and dandy, but hearing a familiar voice and seeing a familiar face seems more.. personal.
Besides, we're all friends here :)

In other news.. there is no news. Sam will be home before Halloween (Ya'll should get your costumed asses up here to see him).

Oh, right, my phone.
So I went to Lagoon yesterday and I had my phone in my pocket. Well, after the first roller coaster, it wasn't in my pocket anymore.
2,000 pictures and videos over the last two years of my life, gone in one fell swoop. All the apartment picture, Juke, Cameron in duck pjs, Sam wasted off his butt, Deena holding Mishka, the tattoo fest.. poof.
This makes me extremely angry.

I am now the proud owner of a G2, the sexy upgrade of my phone, but I am still in deep mourning for my old one. I still hold out hope that I will get a call from Lagoon saying they retrieved my phone in twenty three pieces and that one of those pieces has my media card, safe and intact.

Hopefully sometime soon I'll be in school like our dear Mr. Cameron.

Loves and hugs to you all.
-Nessa-

When Life Comes Full Circle

It's interesting to see the way life takes its twists and turns. People come and go, things start and end, and you say 'It's such a small world' entirely too much by the close of the day.
But today something interesting happened. A person I swore to myself I would never see or trust as a friend again came back into my life, and I saw what I thought I'd never see.
He's different.
And we'll call him Taylor. (Him, he, and 'that guy' get annoying to type over and over again.)
Cam, you'll probably remember when Sam and I broke up because of a letter that was sent to my family, about six months into our relationship. You helped talked Sam through that, at the apartment, and the end result was Sam deciding to stay with me. You played a large role in that, and I don't know if I ever said thank you for it.
This guy, Tayor, was the one who, in part, wrote that letter.
I had written Taylor off as the most manipulative, deceitful, self serving person I have ever met. Through friends I kept tabs on him at a distance, for a year and a half after the.. 'letter incident'. Most of what I heard about him only reinforced my decision to keep him out of my life forever.
Taylor and I started talking not to long ago, as we had for brief periods over the year and a half of estrangement, and I thought the same things I always did. 'He wants something from me, what's he gaining from this, be careful, Jenessa, be careful."
And I always was. I still am.
But today, I am pretty sure that I got as close to an apology as he was capable of, for what he did.
An apology was all I ever wanted. The incriminating letter had been the culmination of two people putting their heads together and writing out everything I had ever done that could get me in trouble with my parents, and out of a relationship with Sam. The other involve-ee had already said sorry, in what I felt was a legitimately sincere and heart-felt way. I never saw nor further sought a reason to hold them accountable for what they had done after that.
It was an eye-for-an-eye situation anyway.
But I held onto my grudge against my Taylor. I never let go what he had done to my life, neither did Sam, and I feel we were both justified in our anger and mistrust.
And after all the time that passed, I just wanted Taylor to, at the very least, acknowledge that what he did was wrong. His reasoning behind it was sound; he was a friend worried for another friend's safety and happiness. But there was an edge of jealousy and vengeance to the letter he sent. And I wanted an apology for taking all my trust in him, and throwing that, along with three years of close friendship, back in my face.
He finally admitted he was wrong.

Right here, right now, I feel torn. I feel like I am letting down the defenses I held on to for so long, that I am allowing myself to be drawn back in to Taylor's gravitational pull.
But I will no longer deny the piece of me that wants to know he's changed. Taylor is still the same person, with all the thoughts, feelings, and intentions that he always had. But I want to recognize that bit of him that will now recognize himself as he was.. and the bit of him that wants to no longer be that way.
I am still saying to myself "Be careful, Jenessa, be careful."
But I am also giving Taylor the benefit of the doubt. This is something my father always gave me, and, whether or not I deserved it, I was always grateful for it. I hope he can use it for the betterment of himself and our friendship.

It's like the past has come around to the future, and a pathway I long ago blocked can now be seen again through the trees.
It is worn, unkempt, and dilapidated, but I think there is hope yet.
I hope Taylor can show me that he can be the person I knew so many years ago. They say people don't change, and maybe they don't. Most certainly not him.
But I am praying to be proved wrong.
Because, as much as I hate to say it, I missed a very good friend, for a very long time, and I am so, so...tired. Tired of hating him for things that should no longer have to matter.
I have no one to blame but myself should things go wrong. I will put no one else in the path of potential devastation that I will walk, and I ask no one to be beside me who does not wish to be.
But I truly, truly hope that the past will stay where it belongs, and that the saying 'turning over a new leaf' can actually become a reality.

You're all allowed to say "I told you so."
Just to let you know.

-Nessa-

Sam is coming home.

So, bloggers, aside from this being my one-hundredth something blog..
Sam is coming home.
I don't know a whole bunch of details, but he's getting separated and will probably be home in another two or three weeks.
His knee wouldn't heal, and he was starting to have pain from stress in his shins also; his body just couldn't handle the physical strain, by the sound of it.
I'm sad about this. I had hoped that he'd found his niche and could finally get going on his life. He wasn't sure if he would be going back to the military after coming home and being given time to rest. I'm just hoping that he calls me back and gives me more details.
Such is life. I don't know what is going to happen when he gets home, though.
*sigh*
I really just don't know.

I thought I'd let everyone know, though. And I'll post again, possibly later today if he ever calls back, to let you know what's going on.
Love you all!
-Nessa-