You win some, you lose some.

Friends. That's what this one is about.

It's interesting to look back and see those people that have floated in and out of your life, to pick out the ones who mattered, and those who really didn't. You can usually trace a line of best friends straight up until where you are now.

I've got one friend still with me from elementary school, and while we don't talk so much anymore, I will always consider her one of my dearest acquaintances.

I met the majority of my friends in junior high and early high school. (I only have like three or four friends so that's not saying much lol). The apartment got me a few more once I left high school and the social aspect of life that high school presents was gone. That bunch has drifted sufficiently, but I still love all of them, and would give up my left arm to get together again like we used to.

Now..

I have one friend I know I can always trust.

I have one friend I know will always be there for me.
I have one friend I know will always make me laugh.
I have one friend who will always understand.

I have one friend who will never judge me on my past.

I have one friend who will never begrudge me what is mine.

I have one friend I can call at three am and I know they will pick up.

I have one friend who I can always enjoy being around.

These are all different people, and more than one fits in each category.

But.

I have one friend I can't trust.
I have one friend I can't rely on.

I have one friend who hurts me more than makes me smile.
I have one friend who just doesn't get it.

I have one friend who will always hold my past against me.

I have one friend who will begrudge every move I make.

I have one friend who will ignore me for better pursuits.

I have one friend I can't stand being with at all.

Again, different people, different categories.

It's how my life works for me. Pick and choose, hope for the best. Build you up, break you down, it's a daily thing. What comes tomorrow, you never saw coming yesterday. And what came last year, you thought would change you forever, but no longer matters in the present.

In other news, my kitty had to have his toe amputated :(. He is alright, just complaining like any old invalid. I feel bad for him though..

His paw prints are going to be quite distinct, what with only four toes to show for it. ;)

I decided that the next kitten I get will be a little tabby with at least two little white feet. And, he has to be obscenely cute, of course. Sam and I decided that I'll have to keep him in a reinforced steel box with air holes to make sure I don't inadvertently kill this one...

Off-color humor, I know, but it's almost true. I've already lost two.

My brother is home for the next couple days, it's been great seeing him! He swears around my parents constantly, so conversation is always bound to be worthwhile :). I get to hang out with him and Angel tonight, and I am so excited it's not even funny.

I'm waiting impatiently for winter to end, and dreading summer when Sam is going to be leaving for boot camp. Mostly I try not to think about the fact that less than a half a year from now he will be gone and I'll be reduced to seeing him three times a year, tops. Hopefully he'll get stationed on the west coast, not east, so that driving out to see him sometimes can be even a remote possibility.

School in the fall, and since my mom intends to kick me out, and I want to be out of the house after Sam leaves, I have to look into financial aid. Paying for school is gonna suck. Maybe I should become a stripper. Jk.

My days consist of 5 Buck and the few friends I still see, plus Sam. I got more hours so Saturday is now the only day that I do not work at all. I wish I could get myself a better job, but no amount of wishing is going to un-suckify the economy.. I suppose I could put a little more effort into job hunting.. hmmm...

Oh, and I hate drama. It's retarded, and I want it to go away. But hey, to quote Kendall...

"Shit happens."