Children

I'm not used to them, I never grew up with them, I was the youngest in the family, and don't know how to act around them.

They are loud, obnoxious, and spend the vast majority of their time doing things meant only to get your attention, or draw attention to themselves.

Babies, I can handle babies. They aren't a problem. They are small, and there is a much less complicated list of things to do in order to keep them happy. I used to absolutely terrified of holding one (I do suffer under the delusion that if I hold a baby it will either break or fall out of my hands for no reason), but after Sam and Amber convinced me to hold Amber's little baby Kara, I think I'm on the path to get over that particular fear.

Kids past a certain age, once the word -teen is in their age, that's fine. They are in school, they are capable of entertaining themselves, they have little friends they can call over, and have them help destroy whatever house they happen to be unleashed upon.
But if kids don't have anyone to hang out with because you decided to send them to private school (private school equals no social life since the kids sent there range further abroad than public school kids) and make them clear all play dates with two parents who work and go to school (basically spending the vast majority of their time unreachable and out of the home) then kids can get..pretty bothersome.

And to think, I want two of these? Maybe my perspective will change over time. Or maybe my kids won't turn out how I fear. Or maybe I shouldn't have kids.

I don't know. Anyone care to share a perspective?