Today is just one of those days where things are changing at an obvious and alarming rate, and you stop for a second and go "Wow, didn't think this would end so fast."
For one, Cam is leaving. I went and read his blog, and as lame and stupid as I am, I cried. I know I'm a wuss, you can all just make fun of me now. I am going to miss him a lot. I can safely say we all will. And not only Cam.
Ima miss Coriann like crazy too. She's one of the few girls, I think, that could walk happily into our weird little world and fit right in with every single one of us. Cam found a keeper in her. She's only completely awesome, and she's going back to Star Valley on the ninth for the summer. So I don't see Cam for two months, I don't see Cori for at least three...awesome....QQ.
For two, as of last night, the decision was made that I stop talking to Mike. Even though we ended on good terms, or as good as they could be, I can't seem to suppress the feeling that not being his friend anymore could be considered a bad judgement call. I have a thing for following my instincts and gut feelings, and the fact that I'm denying them now irks me. It feels wrong. Oh well, just one more thing that I get to sit back and wait out.
Three. The apartment. I'm just basically worried about it. I am pretty sure that Dee saved everyone's butts as far as rent is concerned this month, but nonetheless, what's everyone going to do now... Sammy and Jorden need jobs, and it's not like everyone's running around looking for employees at the moment.
And lack of employment isn't due to lack of trying to find some either. I swear this'll be the third blog in a row where I have said "Damn this worthless economy."
So..
DAMN THIS WORTHLESS ECONOMY!!!
Anywho..
In other news, Star Trek is three days away, and I'm getting excited for it. Probably nowhere as excited as Sam is, because he's a little nerd about stuff like this *smiles affectionately*, but that's ok.
I've been thinking about Brantley lately too. More in passing, but last night when Sam and I were talking about Mike, I realized how much I'd miss talking to Mike when I had to stop.
Then I remembered Brantley. I miss him. But I don't miss the ass he turned into. I miss the guy that I could call late at night and talk about random stuff to. I miss the guy I dated, who wanted to see me everyday, the guy that made a 50 foot Starburst chain with.
The guy who held me and let me sob uncontrollably in his arms because I hurt so much over Mike. It's that Brantley I miss. The reliable one. The one who didn't constantly have his own hidden agenda.
But life turned out how it did, and it doesn't matter anymore.
It's raining outside, and today is just one of those days. I'm happy I'll get to see Alyse later, we haven't hung out as much since..well, a month ago, when all that happened...*sigh* I hate having to be cryptic.
So either way, much love to everyone, and hopefully I'll see a couple of my best friends sooner than it feels like I will...
<3
-Nessa-
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I read Cam's blog, cried, ran out to interrupt my Mom watching Dancing With the Stars, told her bluntly how great Cam is, and made pizza...
ReplyDeleteThe apartment deal, I guess we just hope they can get jobs.
Damn this worthless economy.
And on Mike, I told you today how I feel about it. Just wait and see, who knows, in a year you may end up like Spencer and I. Just friends. Don't worry about a thing, it'll find a way to end up just right.
Right now, we just get to sit tight and wait. You've got plenty on your plate, so I guess it's more waiting for these things to work out and help where we can. Which, there's not much option of doing.
I'm happy I got to see you today, and seriously, we need to do that more often. Hanging out. I miss it.
The whole world can't end just cause of what happens. Friends are friends, they stay when things around change.
I'ma miss Cori too. I didn't get much chance to hang out with her, but like you said, she couldn't have fit more perfectly.
Things change, people change. Brantley became who he became, and you'll remember the old Brantley, wish he were still here. But he's not, and just like many other things that were good we'll always miss certain aspects of people as they change.
This comment turned into some crazy ass blog almost, so I'll stop now.
Much love,
Alyse.
Hey Nessa, about Brantley. I know you miss him, but if you think about it, I'm trying to do the same. I was there at five buck, holding you in my arms as you thought you were losing Sam. I love you in every brotherly way possible, and I'm here. I usually have Sam's work phone next to me, so if you ever wanna talk, call me. I want to be there for you. As for Mike, I think, for now, it would be best not to talk to him, but don't lose hope. Like Alyse said, who knows? As for the apartment... well, I'm sure as hell trying to get a job. Things are going to get very boring around here for me as soon as Cam leaves... Cam... we sure will miss him. At least it's not a goodbye forever, right? Well, I think this is a long enough comment... longer then yours, Alyse... Lol Anyways, (sorry Cori :-P)
ReplyDeleteLove ya Nessa!
Jorden
or not, i thought mine was longer than alyse's but i was wrong... :-P''
ReplyDelete