There are moments in life that make you want to go out and do violent acts upon persons or objects of unknown origin. This.. is one of those moments.
Samuel Tooley... You are the bane of my life. I adore you...but you drive me nuts. If I had a tab going on just how much money you owed me... You'd owe me more than you owe Deena.
So your lucky I love you, because this tab doesn't exist.
However.
Next time I see you, you have earned yourself a prompt ass kicking. After this, you will swear to be my slave for time and all eternity, and basically worship me.
Or something pretty damn close to that.
So help me God, if I have to pay that phone bill for one more month....
Just to let everyone know, I'm laughing pretty hard right now, because this whole phone bill situation has gone past frustrating, and has hit the 'This is so ridiculous, it's become hilarious' stage.
The things I do for my boyfriend.
Sam, your so dead.
Do you hear me?
Dead.
D-E-A-D.
Best part? I am STILL going to try and come see you this weekend. But only to kick your ass. Then I'll go back home.
Dead cookies.
-Nessa-
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
18 Ain't So Sweet
Well, I've been for a few days now, and there's really nothing to report beyond what you already know. I spent a weekend with Sam again, and am bringing him down for Thanksgiving and the days prior to.
Oh, and for anyone who cares.. New Moon sucked. It was better than Twilight, they actually stuck to the storyline, and only made a few changes for plot progression, but it was all perfectly alright.
But it sucked.
I'm starting to wonder if the movie isn't just directed to have everyone but the exceptionally exuberant (Aro and Alice for example) talk in monotone and show minor facial expression.
I mean, the only acting in that movie I liked was done by not-really main characters.
Aro (He's Lucien from Underworld, for the brainless)
Alice (She has facial expressions and knows how to smile)
Jane (Dakota Fanning is a cute little girl, and I KNOW she knows how to act)
Laurent (One of the rouge vampires who travels with Victoria, he did well)
Charlie (He does the awkward loving dad really well)
Emily (Good acting, and I like how they depicted her scars from Sam)
I'm thoroughly depressed that I just named the excessive cast of minor unimportant actors as the ones I thought did the best.
Jacob stays half naked for a fair part of the movie. Guess that's an upside.
Sigh.
That movie sucked balls.
Well, everyone, pray for me on the drive home, because in this cold weather, at my car's age, I'm not sure it's going to survive the return voyage back to good ol' Alpine.
Peace, Love, Zen, MUSHROOMS!!!
(Lol to Megan and Angel)
-Nessa-
Thursday, November 19, 2009
It's happening again.
First and foremost, before I dive into the deep stuff, I just want to let you all know.
I pierced my nose :)
Hurt like a motherfucker though.. God. And it bled like none other. I've never had a bonifide nose bleed in my life, but today I got to see what it would look like if I ever did. My nose really would not stop bleeding lol.
Anyway. Onward.
Stuff is changing. My vague but planned future is gone from before my eyes and replaced with indistinct images of what it could be like, but only maybe.
You know how everyone has a 5 year plan? I don't tend to go that far (loser like me doesn't want to get their hopes up too high ;) ) but I did have a plan.
AAAAANNNNDDDD now it's gone.
I guess.. I planned to go to UVU for a year, get all those Generals out of the way, then, as I'd hoped and as Sam had finally said he was okay with, I'd go to USU in Logan.
Well, my Sam has decided (not without good reason, if you haven't already read his blog, please do so http://practicalpracticallity.blogspot.com/2009/11/growing-up.html), that he is going to join the Coast Guard.
To be honest, I have no idea how I feel about this, but only on a personal level. I'm glad that he's working things out for himself so he can be better.
I guess I pictured stuff a little different, you know? More to the point, I pictured being with Sam a little more than it looks like I'm going to be.
Basic training would be 8 weeks in New Jersey, and then I'd only be able to write him.
When I told Megan I was sticking with him through this, she basically looked at me like I was nuts. She said she doesn't get how I'll be able to do it.
Best part? I don't either.
I suppose you could post my mood as discouraged. I guess I'll just do what I always do, which is be outwardly optimistic and keep laughing about life with my friends. Then go home, find Sam's dog Lou, curl up with my cats, and cry it off when it gets to be too much.
It's worked in the past.
OH.
And eat TONZ AND TONZ OF CHOCOLATE.
jk.
End of story: I love him. I'll do anything for him. Even if 'anything' means waiting for him to come home to me. I know what he is doing is for the better. I know it's what he wants. So I'll support him. That's my job, right?
A guy's perfect girlfriend checklist:
And I'm joking about the last one :)
(Okay not really.)
<3
-Nessa-
I pierced my nose :)
Hurt like a motherfucker though.. God. And it bled like none other. I've never had a bonifide nose bleed in my life, but today I got to see what it would look like if I ever did. My nose really would not stop bleeding lol.
Anyway. Onward.
Stuff is changing. My vague but planned future is gone from before my eyes and replaced with indistinct images of what it could be like, but only maybe.
You know how everyone has a 5 year plan? I don't tend to go that far (loser like me doesn't want to get their hopes up too high ;) ) but I did have a plan.
AAAAANNNNDDDD now it's gone.
I guess.. I planned to go to UVU for a year, get all those Generals out of the way, then, as I'd hoped and as Sam had finally said he was okay with, I'd go to USU in Logan.
Well, my Sam has decided (not without good reason, if you haven't already read his blog, please do so http://practicalpracticallity.blogspot.com/2009/11/growing-up.html), that he is going to join the Coast Guard.
To be honest, I have no idea how I feel about this, but only on a personal level. I'm glad that he's working things out for himself so he can be better.
I guess I pictured stuff a little different, you know? More to the point, I pictured being with Sam a little more than it looks like I'm going to be.
Basic training would be 8 weeks in New Jersey, and then I'd only be able to write him.
When I told Megan I was sticking with him through this, she basically looked at me like I was nuts. She said she doesn't get how I'll be able to do it.
Best part? I don't either.
I suppose you could post my mood as discouraged. I guess I'll just do what I always do, which is be outwardly optimistic and keep laughing about life with my friends. Then go home, find Sam's dog Lou, curl up with my cats, and cry it off when it gets to be too much.
It's worked in the past.
OH.
And eat TONZ AND TONZ OF CHOCOLATE.
jk.
End of story: I love him. I'll do anything for him. Even if 'anything' means waiting for him to come home to me. I know what he is doing is for the better. I know it's what he wants. So I'll support him. That's my job, right?
A guy's perfect girlfriend checklist:
- Love
- Support
- Food
- Sex
And I'm joking about the last one :)
(Okay not really.)
<3
-Nessa-
Monday, November 16, 2009
Holy of Holies
So, as some of you may have otherwise been informed, I have money problems. But, somehow, due to my insane work schedule, the generosity of friends, the fact that my birthday is on the seventeeth, and a healthy dose of sheer dumb luck, I have suddenly come come up basically even.
I have to pay for my full phone bill (Sam, I love you, get a job soon babe), pay for my car battery (I'm driving the little Honda Civic Del Sol, it's sexy >:) ), I have to pay Megan back (I hit Mr. Mexican and his precious WHITE van..), pay for car insurance (which, thankfully, did not go up due to my speeding ticket), pay for my speeding ticket (that I thankfully did not get screwed on), and monthly gas expenditures.. etc.
I have, due to my exceptional awesomeness, figured out how to pay for all this. I feel..well, awesome.
The point of all that, was, that today, I finally found myself with some extra cash. And, for the first time in about.. one or two months, I had sushi. Gorgeous, wonderful, delectable sushi, in all its glorious perfection. I didn't realize how much I missed that stuff until I ate it again.
My parents are taking me to lunch there tomorrow. :) So I get to further indulge. I'm so happy!!
So, (still on the subject of food), apparently I'm destined to have three cakes this year. First, Sam's mom made me one; it was star-shaped and had this really yummy icing on it. Hehe XP. Sam made the cake. His whole family can cook, it's almost annoying, because I really can't cook at all.
The second was the cream cheese pie my mom made me last night. It's like the better tasting version of cheesecake, because I don't like cheese cake that much, with cherries on top. It's to die for, to say the least.
Then, third and final Jerremy's mom (?????) is making me one that has to do with lots of chocolate and Andes Mint shavings on top.. I sort of accidentally saw/overheard Shauna (Jerr's mom) and Megan talking about it. I don't know how they didn't see me standing at the end of the bed...but whatever works.
The moral of this story?
I am going to get fat.
And right after my birthday comes Thanksgiving, which I am celebrating with the Tooley Clan this year. They have this tendancy to make enough food to feed double the attending party..
Then my grandparents are coming out and I'm having a second Thanksgiving that Sunday, three days later.
The moral of that story??
I'm going to get REALLY. REALLY. FAT.
In other news.. I had to drive my dad to the hospital on Sunday morning, the day my Uncle Mark and my cousin Steven were due to arrive, but later in the afternoon.
My dad was in crippling pain, and I was almost angry that the doctors took as long as they did.
Lo and behold, my father had kidney stones.
After talking to people, those people including doctors, I found out (even though I had already suspected this) that kidney stones are hereditary.
Earlier today I heard my mom on the phone with my Grandma, and apparently kidney stones comes from both sides of my family..
I told my mom that, for the moment, I was grateful that I'm not blood related to either of my parents.
They say that the pain of having kidney stones is only second to childbirth. So guys, try having kidney stones the size of golf balls.
And that really does not make me excited for kids either.
I'll just have cats.
That sounds good.
*meow*
I'm actually not happy about turning 18. It's like this huge milestone that I've been waiting for since I was fourteen, and now that it's here, I'm terrified that I have nothing to show for it. I'm not where I thought I would be when I turned 18 years old, and I've also used up about 1/4 of my life on Earth.
Just think. In about sixty years (assuming I live to eighty-ish) I'll be dead.
Alright, so that's just a bit melodramatic.
I still don't want to be 18, despite the benefits.
But, inevitably, tomorrow morning around eight am, I will be eighteen years of age..
*sigh*
I feel old. I can almost feel the wrinkles coming on!!
I can remember what I was doing last year though. I was with Sam. And I'm still with Sam. Oddly, I think that's the best birthday present of all. He's loved me this long, he still loves me..
despite, well, everything.
I love you, baby :)
Now, what should I spend my birthday money on?
Loves.
-Nessa-
I have to pay for my full phone bill (Sam, I love you, get a job soon babe), pay for my car battery (I'm driving the little Honda Civic Del Sol, it's sexy >:) ), I have to pay Megan back (I hit Mr. Mexican and his precious WHITE van..), pay for car insurance (which, thankfully, did not go up due to my speeding ticket), pay for my speeding ticket (that I thankfully did not get screwed on), and monthly gas expenditures.. etc.
I have, due to my exceptional awesomeness, figured out how to pay for all this. I feel..well, awesome.
The point of all that, was, that today, I finally found myself with some extra cash. And, for the first time in about.. one or two months, I had sushi. Gorgeous, wonderful, delectable sushi, in all its glorious perfection. I didn't realize how much I missed that stuff until I ate it again.
My parents are taking me to lunch there tomorrow. :) So I get to further indulge. I'm so happy!!
So, (still on the subject of food), apparently I'm destined to have three cakes this year. First, Sam's mom made me one; it was star-shaped and had this really yummy icing on it. Hehe XP. Sam made the cake. His whole family can cook, it's almost annoying, because I really can't cook at all.
The second was the cream cheese pie my mom made me last night. It's like the better tasting version of cheesecake, because I don't like cheese cake that much, with cherries on top. It's to die for, to say the least.
Then, third and final Jerremy's mom (?????) is making me one that has to do with lots of chocolate and Andes Mint shavings on top.. I sort of accidentally saw/overheard Shauna (Jerr's mom) and Megan talking about it. I don't know how they didn't see me standing at the end of the bed...but whatever works.
The moral of this story?
I am going to get fat.
And right after my birthday comes Thanksgiving, which I am celebrating with the Tooley Clan this year. They have this tendancy to make enough food to feed double the attending party..
Then my grandparents are coming out and I'm having a second Thanksgiving that Sunday, three days later.
The moral of that story??
I'm going to get REALLY. REALLY. FAT.
In other news.. I had to drive my dad to the hospital on Sunday morning, the day my Uncle Mark and my cousin Steven were due to arrive, but later in the afternoon.
My dad was in crippling pain, and I was almost angry that the doctors took as long as they did.
Lo and behold, my father had kidney stones.
After talking to people, those people including doctors, I found out (even though I had already suspected this) that kidney stones are hereditary.
Earlier today I heard my mom on the phone with my Grandma, and apparently kidney stones comes from both sides of my family..
I told my mom that, for the moment, I was grateful that I'm not blood related to either of my parents.
They say that the pain of having kidney stones is only second to childbirth. So guys, try having kidney stones the size of golf balls.
And that really does not make me excited for kids either.
I'll just have cats.
That sounds good.
*meow*
I'm actually not happy about turning 18. It's like this huge milestone that I've been waiting for since I was fourteen, and now that it's here, I'm terrified that I have nothing to show for it. I'm not where I thought I would be when I turned 18 years old, and I've also used up about 1/4 of my life on Earth.
Just think. In about sixty years (assuming I live to eighty-ish) I'll be dead.
Alright, so that's just a bit melodramatic.
I still don't want to be 18, despite the benefits.
But, inevitably, tomorrow morning around eight am, I will be eighteen years of age..
*sigh*
I feel old. I can almost feel the wrinkles coming on!!
I can remember what I was doing last year though. I was with Sam. And I'm still with Sam. Oddly, I think that's the best birthday present of all. He's loved me this long, he still loves me..
despite, well, everything.
I love you, baby :)
Now, what should I spend my birthday money on?
Loves.
-Nessa-
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Shit Happens.
So, remember how I hit someone? Yeah, well, this seems to have been the week for firsts. (I mean the past week.)
I got a speeding ticket while I was up in Logan. There is this long road leading down to a gas station, and neither Sam nor myself could figure out what the speed limit was on it, so we just drove the speed that the person in front of us was going..
So, I left to go get Taco Bell at night, and Sam went to go get his own food, and on my way back while I was focusing on my tacos, I didn't realize I went forty something past a cop going the other way.
Naturally he pulled me over. I was going nineteen over the speed limit (Go figure it would be a 25 mph zone).
He only wrote me down as going nine over, and I was thanking him over and over again. He and his partner who pulled over to help check stuff out were really nice, and his partner was actually Aggie alumni. I got to talk to him while the other guy wrote my ticket.
So, I have that to pay for, an overdue phone bill, gas, car payments.. I'll only just make it on finances this month, and that's if I decide to let someone stick needles in my arm so I can donate plasma.
Sounds fun right?
Lol, we all know I hate needles with an unfathomable passion.
Shit happens.
Think I'll get that tattooed on me.
Seems to be the story of my life :)
Love you all
-Nessa-
I got a speeding ticket while I was up in Logan. There is this long road leading down to a gas station, and neither Sam nor myself could figure out what the speed limit was on it, so we just drove the speed that the person in front of us was going..
So, I left to go get Taco Bell at night, and Sam went to go get his own food, and on my way back while I was focusing on my tacos, I didn't realize I went forty something past a cop going the other way.
Naturally he pulled me over. I was going nineteen over the speed limit (Go figure it would be a 25 mph zone).
He only wrote me down as going nine over, and I was thanking him over and over again. He and his partner who pulled over to help check stuff out were really nice, and his partner was actually Aggie alumni. I got to talk to him while the other guy wrote my ticket.
So, I have that to pay for, an overdue phone bill, gas, car payments.. I'll only just make it on finances this month, and that's if I decide to let someone stick needles in my arm so I can donate plasma.
Sounds fun right?
Lol, we all know I hate needles with an unfathomable passion.
Shit happens.
Think I'll get that tattooed on me.
Seems to be the story of my life :)
Love you all
-Nessa-
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
It was an accident of a vehicular variety.
If any of you have noted, as Alyse has, the rather..erm...downtrodden tone of my blogs, I need to apologize. I guess the past week just really hasn't been a good one.
I am famous for working myself into unnecessary depressions, and overreacting about stuff that hasn't even happened...
For instance. (Dumb example.)
Say... I have a pumpkin. A really nice pumpkin. I like this pumpkin a lot, and it's my favorite thing ever. I...loan this pumpkin to someone and don't see it for a long time.
I start working myself up thinking that the pumpkin will get lost, or smashed, or I'll just never see it again, and before I know it, I'm upset and depressed and emotional over something that hasn't happened, and most likely won't happen.
See, I do this to myself over things, and people.
So, due to this awesome character flaw, I really haven't had a great week.
BUT.
I have a great boyfriend.
Whoooooo has a habit of walking in right when things are at their worst and saying or doing something that just..makes everything okay again. Even if it is only just bearable, he makes it better. He did that for me last night, and all of today.
Now, it's story time.
I ran into someone with my car.
No one died, sorry to disappoint.
Okay. So I had a really sucky day at work (I covered for Megan on Tuesday) and I had just gotten off. I was upset, tired, messed up over Sam, and life was just..shit, basically.
I reversed out of my spot in 5 Buck, not even looking behind me and BAM!!! I ran straight into the back of this guy in a white van driving behind me.
I got some little black scratches over his rear left wheel, on the side of his car, and that was it, so I considered myself lucky.
It was him, his two young boys and his wife, and he worked just over at the Whistle Wok right by 5 Buck, and he was really nice, if not very obviously upset with this turn of events in his night.
We exchanged information, and he said that he would have his car looked at to be fixed and quote me a price to pay.
Now, I am going out of my way to keep this from my parents. I am trying to pay him out of pocket so A: My mom and dad don't have to know and B: So our insurance rates don't go up or anything.
Anyway, so he called me today, and said that the Auto Collision Shop in A.F. quoted him 800 FREAKING DOLLARS to get a couple of black marks fixed up on his car.
EIGHT. HUNDRED.FUCKING. DOLLARS. FOR THREE LITTLE DINGS.
As we can imagine, I freaked.
But he, being the exceptionally and inordinately kind man that he is, asked me for 350 and he would pay the rest.
At this point I need to add that I have friends that are too good for me. Megan said she'll help me with the 150 I need ( I told the guy, Roul, I should call him, that I could pay him 200 on the spot; I just got paid), and so I am going to be able to somehow work all this out.
Sam is also helping me with gas money for when I go see him in Logan this weekend.
Everyone I know is just too good for me, they really are. I don't deserve the friends and boyfriend I have, and I am very grateful for them.
I'd literally be dead without them.
So my day today was wonderful, and life is getting back to being a little closer to peachy keen.
I'm so excited to see my boyfriend :)
SAMMY!! I LOVE YOU!
I should probably throw on something for Megan too..
MEGAN!! YOUR AMAZING!! STOP IT!! YOUR SPOILING ME!!
And Alyse, for staying up until 2:45 on the phone discussing life last night. I miss doing that. Thanks for staying on with me hun. :) I miss talking to you all the time.
I guess it's really hard to look on the bright side of things when there's seeming to always be a cloudy sky above. But with cloudy skies comes warmer days, and rain to dance in. And when it gets windy and cold, you get to go inside with the person you love most and cuddle under some blankets to watch a good movie :)
Night all :)
Think of all the people who make your cloudy days worth going through.
-Nessa-
I am famous for working myself into unnecessary depressions, and overreacting about stuff that hasn't even happened...
For instance. (Dumb example.)
Say... I have a pumpkin. A really nice pumpkin. I like this pumpkin a lot, and it's my favorite thing ever. I...loan this pumpkin to someone and don't see it for a long time.
I start working myself up thinking that the pumpkin will get lost, or smashed, or I'll just never see it again, and before I know it, I'm upset and depressed and emotional over something that hasn't happened, and most likely won't happen.
See, I do this to myself over things, and people.
So, due to this awesome character flaw, I really haven't had a great week.
BUT.
I have a great boyfriend.
Whoooooo has a habit of walking in right when things are at their worst and saying or doing something that just..makes everything okay again. Even if it is only just bearable, he makes it better. He did that for me last night, and all of today.
Now, it's story time.
I ran into someone with my car.
No one died, sorry to disappoint.
Okay. So I had a really sucky day at work (I covered for Megan on Tuesday) and I had just gotten off. I was upset, tired, messed up over Sam, and life was just..shit, basically.
I reversed out of my spot in 5 Buck, not even looking behind me and BAM!!! I ran straight into the back of this guy in a white van driving behind me.
I got some little black scratches over his rear left wheel, on the side of his car, and that was it, so I considered myself lucky.
It was him, his two young boys and his wife, and he worked just over at the Whistle Wok right by 5 Buck, and he was really nice, if not very obviously upset with this turn of events in his night.
We exchanged information, and he said that he would have his car looked at to be fixed and quote me a price to pay.
Now, I am going out of my way to keep this from my parents. I am trying to pay him out of pocket so A: My mom and dad don't have to know and B: So our insurance rates don't go up or anything.
Anyway, so he called me today, and said that the Auto Collision Shop in A.F. quoted him 800 FREAKING DOLLARS to get a couple of black marks fixed up on his car.
EIGHT. HUNDRED.FUCKING. DOLLARS. FOR THREE LITTLE DINGS.
As we can imagine, I freaked.
But he, being the exceptionally and inordinately kind man that he is, asked me for 350 and he would pay the rest.
At this point I need to add that I have friends that are too good for me. Megan said she'll help me with the 150 I need ( I told the guy, Roul, I should call him, that I could pay him 200 on the spot; I just got paid), and so I am going to be able to somehow work all this out.
Sam is also helping me with gas money for when I go see him in Logan this weekend.
Everyone I know is just too good for me, they really are. I don't deserve the friends and boyfriend I have, and I am very grateful for them.
I'd literally be dead without them.
So my day today was wonderful, and life is getting back to being a little closer to peachy keen.
I'm so excited to see my boyfriend :)
SAMMY!! I LOVE YOU!
I should probably throw on something for Megan too..
MEGAN!! YOUR AMAZING!! STOP IT!! YOUR SPOILING ME!!
And Alyse, for staying up until 2:45 on the phone discussing life last night. I miss doing that. Thanks for staying on with me hun. :) I miss talking to you all the time.
I guess it's really hard to look on the bright side of things when there's seeming to always be a cloudy sky above. But with cloudy skies comes warmer days, and rain to dance in. And when it gets windy and cold, you get to go inside with the person you love most and cuddle under some blankets to watch a good movie :)
Night all :)
Think of all the people who make your cloudy days worth going through.
-Nessa-
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
The Halloween That Didn't Happen
Well, I was supposed to see Cameron and Coriann on Halloween.
I ended up watching The Matrix in my basement and then being told it was too late to go over.
Sam went over the next morning to say hi.
Annnnd didn't take me.
So I didn't get to see either of them.
I am exceptionally unhappy about this.
Then again, I'm exceptionally unhappy about a lot of things.
To be honesty, I am an exceptionally dissatisfied child, in almost all the aspects of my life right now.
I think I need some bracing advice.
If anyone has good advice to give.
And cheering up.
I need a lot of that.
I ended up watching The Matrix in my basement and then being told it was too late to go over.
Sam went over the next morning to say hi.
Annnnd didn't take me.
So I didn't get to see either of them.
I am exceptionally unhappy about this.
Then again, I'm exceptionally unhappy about a lot of things.
To be honesty, I am an exceptionally dissatisfied child, in almost all the aspects of my life right now.
I think I need some bracing advice.
If anyone has good advice to give.
And cheering up.
I need a lot of that.
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